An Enlightening Guide to Not Giving a Sh*t: 3 Simple Steps

Life can sometimes feel like a great, big, swirling fan. Piled high between you and that cool, refreshing breeze? A massive amount of hassle and sh*t!

There are those in society that are born gifted. Blessed, they can shrug off the bulk of what’s flung at them. Effortlessly, they remain ignorant of the nightmare you experience…

Many of us, though, do not afford ourselves that luxury. Embracing the brunt of life’s dramas, we resort to flexing and contortion. Trying to appease the onslaught, we modify our own behaviour to suit. Despite our dreams of an ideal world, the old phrase still rings true…

You never could polish a turd!

…You see that mess all over you? It didn’t get there by accident. Someone made that happen; usually the sort of person that was born so happily gifted!

Meanwhile you, an advocate of common decency, engage in your fruitless struggle…

No more, you say? I happen to agree! Someone grab a shovel; it’s time to clean this sh*t up!

Step 1: ‘Priorities, People!’

By reading this article, you have already taken your first steps towards a new life of enlightenment. In the defence of your own good character, you have given time to those that were unworthy. Realise now that if thanks to them, that pile in front of your fan has grown? They will now face ultimate judgement.

We begin by setting a base level: All lives, no matter how enlightened, must include some degree of fuss. I know, this goes against all that I’ve said so far – but bear with me. Some hassle does actually matter.

The delicate art of not giving a sh*t, is to grant pardon to those sources of hassle which you otherwise treasure, whilst simultaneously banishing the unworthy.

Let’s take your family, as an example…

A seemingly unending source of grief and concern – you will likely regard the effort as being worthwhile, in the long run. You should look to shrink the volume of their nonsense slightly, but we won’t get too enthusiastic here…

That grouch from the office, however… in her infinite capacity to bring you down? ‘Belinda-sitting-at-desk-opposite’ qualifies for no such special treatment. We’ll be giving her a thorough seeing to.

Step 2: Keeping It Classy

As we engage in this process of enlightenment, you must always remember your principles. Up until now, you have existed as a perfectly decent and reasonable individual. We don’t have to throw this all away in pursuit of your new freedom!

All that will be going, is your principle to put up with the life-drama of the unworthy.

Wherever possible, you should respect the feelings of those you engage with. However, this must now be weighed against the reduction of your worldly-hassles.

When the scales tip in favour of your renewed purpose? You should be firm, and respectfully state your position. Rather than holding back, for fear of upset, you will now address the issue head-on.

Provided you are not overly cruel in your approach, and simply convey your opinion politely, any heartbreak on the opposite end is entirely their concern.

In the belief that it is your responsibility not to displease them, you are then blind to the truth that they have no right to assign unnecessary burdens to you!

You cannot live to please everyone; spend a short amount of energy plugging these drains, and you will have additional resources to focus on what really matters to you: place value in your own happiness!

But this doesn’t mean that you should be selfish! The enlightened recognise that they are important, deserving of a life free from pointless grief; what’s key, however, is that they do so without diminishing to egotism.

Step 3: Spring Cleaning

Now that you know why you’re setting down this path, and understand the fundamentals of the process, it’s time for the exciting bit! (You’ll need that shovel, now)

Everybody loves a challenge, so here I’ll let you have one. Think of some-one, and some-thing that regularly knocks your nose out-of-joint. However small, select an annoyance. Picture the scene in your mind; play it over a couple of times…

Do you feel that? The slight bubbling of some deep-dwelling rage? If yes, then you have your first challenge!

Whoever is responsible for your chosen irritant, consider how easily they could prevent it from happening. Resolve to make a change, think about how you might approach the situation.

Remember, we are spending energy this once – so that we might save ourselves the irritation in future.

In constructing your approach, remember to keep it as polite as possible. Be firm, succinct, and draw attention to the reasonable nature of your request.

Feel good? You bet it does! As you come away from your first disburdenment, absorb that satisfaction. Remember how you’re feeling now, this will serve as motivation for any future encounters.

Build upon your success and try again, go ahead and make three small changes. Soon you’ll realise that most cases needn’t involve upset, on either side! The key thing is, that now you  feel a difference!

The Circle of (a sh*t-free) Life

If you are to take away a final chunk of advice, one last piece for your social jigsaw, then realise that enlightenment should be a continuous process.

In building some positive habits, you will soon accumulate a critical mass of sh*ts-ungiven. All those little things that you decided to stop paying attention to? In the end, they come together to create a resounding sense of contentment.

All that’s left to do is revel in your new-found freedom!


N.B. Ideally, this script will have provided you with some entertainment… I pray thee share, I’m sure everyone would be as keen as I am to read them!

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Had a lot of fun writing this one, let me know what you think! 😀

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